My First Day

My father moved in with us about 3 years ago after my mother died of ovarian cancer. I think I want this blog to be a journal of the journey, a place to turn for advise from those in similar situations and eventually a resource tool. But for now I am starting small.

Mom passed away December 05, 2005. She had been sick for some time but it was still unexpected. At the time my son was living with Mom and Dad so we were fortunate that we didn't have to make any quick decisions related to Dad's living circumstances. Dad has Parkinson's symptoms and a hard time getting around. He would not have been able to live alone. As it was, in just a few short month's it became apparent that the current arrangement was not long term.

So began our journey. I have 4 bothers and sisters, one of which lives in the same city that I do. The others are spread throughout the Midwest. However, the circumstances at the time were such, that my husband and I would be the ones to take Dad in. Which was perfectly ok with us. I was not willing to allow Dad to spend his remaining days in a nursing home, convinced that it would shorten his life span. We had much to do to prepare. Our basement was a walkout on 2 sides, so we had it refinished into an apartment for Dad. It has a living area, dining area, bedroom area, 2 large closets and a handicap accessible bathroom. The kitchen area has all the conveniences except for a range and oven because Dad takes most of his dinner with us upstairs. The floors are pergo, for ease of cleaning and because they are easier for Dad to get around on. The construction phase was a nightmare and I can only tell you that you should check and recheck your contractor and always, always have a signed contract that spells out absolutely every detail.

The weekend finally came for the big move, it was a long hard weekend, sorting, boxing, packing, loading. We had to leave a lot behind, not to mention that Dad had built the house from scratch that he and Mom had lived in for the last 30+ years. So many memories! It still aches when I think about it, and I can only imagine how Dad must feel. But he faced it in his usual stoic manner. I can just hear him saying; 'I lived through the depression and WWII'. I believe the hardest part was leaving Mom back in Tennessee and my youngest sister and her family who had grown up having Mom & Dad present for all their life events.

Next time I'll write about that 'moving in' weekend with a little more insight into dealing with our contractor and Dad's first few weeks here. Please feel free to send me any sites on elder care that you think are of interest.

Thanks so much for listening!
Jody